Try To Find My Place
by That Old Black Magic
Summary: Songfic. Booth's feelings on Brennan. Set to the lyrics of Diary of Jane by Breaking Benjamin. BB angst. Oneshot


A/N: Hey there kids. The plot line is centred around the song Diary of Jane by Breaking Benjamin. The lyrics are in italics, obv. Enjoy now!

Disclaimer: La, la, la Bones belongs to Fox, Hart Hanson etc la, la, la. /skips off merrily\

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_If I had to  
I would put myself right beside you  
So let me ask  
Would you like that?  
Would you like that?_

Booth walked into Brennan's office and zoned in on the seat next to her. She was working on a big pile of folders there. Once he was seated comfortably he asked, "Bones, what you up to?"

"Working on this latest case. None of the facts appear to be adding up," she said, exasperated. Booth smiled sympathetically at her. He moved a little more into her personal space before stretching his arm lazily along the back of the sofa.

Daring to be brave, he gently moved his arm from the couch to her petite shoulders. She gave an involuntary shiver and shifted closer into his open embrace. Booth was sorely tempted to ask her did she like this.

And I don't mind  
If you say this love is the last time  
So now I'll ask  
Do you like that?  
Do you like that?

He could practically hear the cogs turning in her head at this very moment. She was probably berating herself, saying in her mind, "Last time you give in, Brennan. Last time you allow yourself love." He found he didn't care a bit that she had told her logical side to take a hike and get more in touch with her feelings. He was hoping that she would throw caution to the wind and make a move.

Something's getting in the way.  
Something's just about to break.  
I will try to find my place in the diary of Jane.  
So tell me how it should be.

Booth found that he did love her but he could never quite claim her as his own. And so badly wanted to do so. At times, they drew so close, as if all the denial and self-restraint was about to break but then, as usual, something got in the way.

Booth knew Brennan kept a diary, which was decidedly odd for her. But that wasn't the most important factor in his mind. What he wanted to know, as with her books, was he in there? To him, if he was important enough to feature in her diary, then there was hope for him to steal her heart yet.

He realised that while he had been mulling over these thoughts, that he'd been staring at Brennan. He quickly made his excuses and left. He felt less likely to do something dramatic when out of her presence. He had an inkling if her feelings but simply wished she would give him a clue of where they were in their relationship.

Try to find out what makes you tick.  
As I lie down  
Sore and sick.  
Do you like that?  
Do you like that?

That night, Booth was lying awake, trying to figure out what it was that made Brennan tick. He had known the woman for quite a while now and still couldn't work her out. Today, she was all for Booth's affection and sometimes, she sought independence.

_There's a fine line between love and hate.  
And I don't mind.  
Just let me say that  
I like that  
I like that_

Wise men always say there's a fine line between love and hate. That could not be more true of him and Bones. Sometimes he could barely stand her with her lack of sensitivity and tact. Other days, he could not love her more for her quirkiness and character strength.

Something's getting in the way.  
Something's just about to break.  
I will try to find my place in the diary of Jane.  
As I burn another page,  
As I look the other way.  
I still try to find my place in the diary of Jane.  
So tell me how it should be.

Booth didn't know what to do for the best. Every obstacle came their way and he was beginning to think someone up above had a grudge against him. He would take all that in stride though, for he was sure she was worth the risk.

Booth was struck with indecision. Should he turn away, just give up and accept it was never going to be? No, he conceded in his thoughts, you can't run away from this. This is the closest thing to true love you've ever had.

Desperate, I will crawl  
Waiting for so long  
No love, there is no love.  
Die for anyone  
What have I become?

Throughout his brooding, Booth knew desperation was starting to set in. So desperate to have her. So desperate to make her his. He was beginning to feel deprived of her. It would be unfair if he had to wait any longer. He did not feel he could live much longer without telling his Bones how he felt.

The strength of his feelings ran so deep that he would willingly give his life for her. What was he to become if he could not show his true feelings, emotions much deeper than partners or friends could ever feel. Booth was starting to think that if he could not rid himself of this crossfire of emotions, then he would go insane.

Something's getting in the way.  
Something's just about to break.  
I will try to find my place in the diary of Jane.  
As I burn another page,  
As I look the other way.  
I still try to find my place in the diary of Jane.

No matter how many trials I have to go through, Booth resolved. I will win her heart. It serves no purpose to live life hiding one's affections for others. He would not go around sulking all the time, thinking of missed opportunities.

Concluding that he must get in there and claim her love for his own, Booth rolled over and drifted off to sleep. One way or another, he would find his place in her diary and in her heart.


End file.
